His Other Man: Straight Men’s Romantic Relationships with Homosexual Partners
Jonathan de la Cerna, Karl Jade Cosido
Psychology Department, University of the Philippines Cebu [email protected], [email protected]
Abstract
The literature on same-sex relationship is filled with studies pertaining to homosexual men. Few works have been done accounting the perspective of straight men who are involved in same-sex relationships. Drawing from 23 self-identified straight men who are and have been in romantic relationships with gay male partners, we conducted in-depth interviews to account the various domains of the different stages of same-sex relationships: courting, beginning, maintenance, and dissolution. Our results showed similar patterns of relationship behaviors, cognitions, and emotions that are identified in the same-sex relationship literature. More interestingly, our results suggest the largely heterosexist view of our respondents in the different domains of the relationship stages amidst their generally low level of self-reported heterosexism. This outcome may be attributable to the internalization of relationship stigma they are aware of and have experienced. Furthermore, our respondents self-identified gender identity as straight supports the gender heteroflexibility for men. When compared to female romantic partners, gay men were described to be above par in terms of emotional investment and reciprocity and below par in intimacy and commitment. These results support empirical works on minority groups and provide a framework for policymaking, protecting same-sex couples from discrimination and hate crimes and the enjoyment of their rights.
Keywords –straight men, gay men, same-sex relationship, heterosexism, heteroflexibility
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